Existence Takes Care
I will tell you the secret of sitting meditation, standing meditation, walking meditation, sleeping meditation, dreaming meditation, and active meditation in the battle field as a soldier. Let me speak from my own experience, as I never speak from what I have heard or read. It is better first to experience and then to speak.
In 1953 I was loading a ship in Mangalore at a time when I was dealing in manganese ore. I stayed there the whole day for the loading, and once the hatches were closed I got a bank draft from the captain to certify that the ship had been loaded with 10,000 tons of manganese ore for Rotterdam. I wanted to cash the draft immediately at the bank in Bangalore, which was about 500 miles away. It was already about 9 p.m., and I had to reach the bank by morning. I was exhausted as I had been working offshore for the whole day from early in the morning until late in the night. I was not near the wharf where I could easily get out of the ship and it was very hot. I decided that I should rest before beginning my journey and then start early in the morning. But then I realized that the banks would be closed, and it would be better to cross the mountain pass and have a coffee and a nap on the other side, and then go to Bangalore. The road over the hill climbed from the town at sea level up to five thousand feet making eleven hairpin bends.
I don’t know what happened. I could not stop on the mountain road because there were wild elephants which had lifted cars up in the air and thrown them in the valley, one mile below. It was better to keep going and then to rest.
When I arrived on the other side of the hill my head was resting on the steering wheel. I woke up from a deep sleep feeling very fresh, no longer even needing a cup of coffee. I continued the journey to Bangalore having had a complete sound, deep sleep. My head was resting on the steering wheel. I was feeling so fresh that I no longer needed a rest or a coffee, as though I had slept for eight hours. Who drove the car? This is a problem I have never been able to solve. Even in the waking state drivers have accidents but I was fast asleep. The road was narrow, no more than fifteen feet. On one side was a high mountain, on the other side was a very steep valley, and I cut eleven hairpin bends. Who drove the car? I have never been able to find the answer to this.
The other incident I want to describe to you happened in Lucknow. I was walking to the GPO from Kaiserbagh, in front of what is now Janpath market. I always kept a very safe distance, walking on the left side of the road, because sometimes I could never get out of meditation at all! I was neither troubling anyone else nor was I troubled by anyone. An old model Ford car came down the street, a 1934 or ‘36 model with footrests hanging on the side. These days cars no longer have footrests. The car hit me so hard that the footrest fell off onto the ground. People gathered around me saying they had noted down the number. The car had sped away leaving only the footrest. They wanted to know if I was hurt and to go to the police. My pants were torn and when I pulled them up, the car had struck me from behind. There was a little bloodstain on the back of the knee but nothing more. I told them I was perfectly all right.
When you are in meditation you do not need to look after yourself. A power will rise which is moving the earth, which is causing the sun to shine, which is giving the moon its brilliance, and which is allowing all these jivas to function as they want to. If you are attuned to that power you will have nothing to do, everything will be beautiful. That power will look after you in a way which you cannot manage. A man operating from his senses gets into many accidents. But I did not fall into the valley, I slept. Who took care of me? This is the greatest mistake, to fall asleep at the steering wheel. One is advised to be well rested before driving. Who cared for me?
That power is there but you are not looking at it. It is so compassionate that it will look after you. You have been denying it and depending on your own ego. Even this ego is getting its power from somewhere else, to become ego, to become mind, to think, to become the senses and to allow you to function. When you turn your face towards it, it will arise to help you; otherwise you cannot save yourself. How long can you be aware and careful?
Meditation means, no meditator and no object of meditation. Then you can do whatever you like. When the meditator is there it is ego. This is not something to be decided intellectually; it has to be directly experienced. There is no end to argument and logic. That has nothing to do with it. This is your own mother, your own supreme power, which is here and now.
If you close your eyes you will see who is responsible. You do not have to travel even a yard out of your own self — you do not have to take one step. You do not need to think or even to meditate. You do not have to do anything, just keep quiet as you are and you have got it. If you try to search you have lost it. There is nothing to search for — it is that through which the search is taking place. It is that which is found after searching has ceased.
If you know this, it is enough. If you don’t, you will never find rest in millions of years. You have already passed through 8.4 million species. If you are fatigued then you will see this. If you want to hitchhike some more, the goal will not be attained; you can continue as you like and it will never end. If you want to end everything, it is ended now. If you want to continue it will continue. As you think, so you become — this is a formula. You think, “I am in trouble” and you are in trouble. You think, “I am free,” and you are free. If you are attached to any object you are in trouble, you are in suffering, there is manifestation. If you want to end this, it is seized immediately in the recognition, “I am free.” That is all there is to it. What time do you need?
5-6 December, 1991