Drop the Past
PAPAJI: Let there be peace and love among all beings of our planet. Let there be peace, peace and love. Om, Shanti. Namaskar to you all.
Among you here, there is often a question — have we betrayed our previous teachers? So I have been replying to you. Quite often this question had been asked and is being asked everyday. So there was one girl who is back in Poona and she has sent me one question which I will read to you now. She was here for a couple of months and, now she has gone back and sent me one question giving a reference to a book with the photostat of the book. [long pause]
The name of this book is Tarika. Tarika which means method. “Remember if you can find a real master alive, you will not be going against a previous master. No two real masters are enemies.” They cannot be if you really followed one (as the seeker has written to me) — if you have really followed him then he has brought you here. Now if you want to create a barrier between me and you in the name of Gurdjieff it is for you to choose. What I am saying is exactly what Gurdjieff was doing. Of course, I speak a different kind of language — I am a different kind of person, but only our fingers differ. The moon that we are pointing to is the same. If you have been following a real master and the master is no more, then it is responsibility of the master to send you to another real master so that your growth can continue. Now don’t be obsessed by the past. Soon I will not be here either. And remember, I would like to remind my disciples, especially if you really love me, when I am gone I will direct you to people who will be still alive so don’t be afraid of that. If I send you to Tibet or if I send you to China, or if I send you to Japan or to Iran, go. [Laughter] Don’t say that because you belong to me you cannot belong to another real teacher. Just look in the eyes and you will find my eyes again. The body will not be the same but the eyes will be the same. If your journey is not complete with me while I am here, if something is still to be done, complete it, then don’t be afraid. By dropping me you will not be betraying me. In fact, by not dropping me, and by not following the real, the alive master, you will be betraying me. Keep it in mind.
DEVOTEE: Oh my God! Of all things, something I fear for a very long time and such a thing to say. I have this feeling I cannot do it. And it’s just like tears.
DEVOTEE: No tears — and fear is also there, of course. You know I would like to ask you…
PAPAJI: Yes, what do you want? Please come here.
DEVOTEE: It is very old like a barrier that I could never overcome. And I have such a deep longing and I don’t know what to do.
PAPAJI: [Chuckling] It’s very simple. [Laughter] Very simple. That is, not to do anything. You say, ‘What to do?’ Not to do anything.
DEVOTEE: That’s quite hard for me.
PAPAJI: Heh? What you say? Hard?
DEVOTEE: Well, it is quite hard for me.
PAPAJI: What? Not doing is hard? All the waking state you have done, doing something or the other every time. Waking, you see. When you get up, then the waking, throughout the waking state you have been doing something or the other. And this thing has happened during the waking state, and in sleep state, you don’t do anything, right?
PAPAJI: In sleep state, you don’t do anything. Is it hard?
PAPAJI: No. It’s not hard, you see. Not to do is not hard. It is the doing that has troubled you. Therefore, I say, don’t do anything. You sleep now. You keep sleeping during the waking state. Nothing will happen.
DEVOTEE: Not being awake?
DEVOTEE: Not being awake?
PAPAJI: No, Aware!
PAPAJI: Awareness is awakened. Be aware, but not involved in what you are doing.
DEVOTEE: And where does this sadness come from?
PAPAJI: From within you. That you have not seen, not met. Nobody has told you. Go within your own Self, and see. There’s no problem. There’s no trouble. There’s nothing, anything that will disturb you. Go within you, your own heart. How far is your heart from you? How far? How many miles? Huh?
DEVOTEE: Two inches deep.
DEVOTEE: Few inches deep
PAPAJI: OK, a few inches. OK, let it be two inches. So, what do you need, plane, car, train, or ship to travel two inches? What you have to do? What you have to do to arrive at two inches.
DEVOTEE: Just go in. To go inside.
PAPAJI: Yes, go in. So go in.
DEVOTEE: But it feels to me that this heart is longing, so full of this sadness.
PAPAJI: No, what is the longing of the heart that is disturbing you, that longing is not true longing, you see. That longing must belong to past. That longing which gives you trouble has been into the past, hasn’t it?
PAPAJI: What will you get out of the past?
DEVOTEE: To drop it.
PAPAJI: Drop it. Drop the past. There’s no use going to the graveyard at all. You are living. You are living, aren’t you? So, living is now being in this present moment. No use going to past, nor imagination for the future. So, this living in the present is happy living. This is called happy life, loving life, beautiful life. Why do you ignore it?
DEVOTEE: Yeah, I feel it sometimes but then comes this barrier back where I have the feeling I cannot do anything to get over of it.
PAPAJI: I know. I appreciate that. But the trouble is that in this place you are in satsang, you see. The only way is satsang. So, if you come to satsang, you will have it. Gradually. When did you come here?
DEVOTEE: I came two days ago.
PAPAJI: I see.
DEVOTEE: And then I was here for three days and it was very beautiful. And then the thirst even became bigger. I had a taste, I had a taste of it, and then the thirst even became bigger.
PAPAJI: Again and again, keep alert. And question to yourself, ‘Who am I?’ Again question to yourself, ‘Who am I?’ Again question to yourself, ‘Who am I?’ and do it, and tell me where your mind is going. Question. And during this question, you tell me. What troubles you
DEVOTEE: There is no mind.
PAPAJI: No mind. So how simple it is to be happy. And continue this process that will save you from all kind of troubles.
DEVOTEE: And not pay any attention to this old stuff.
PAPAJI: It will take care of you. It’s a raft. It’s a raft to love. It’s a raft to love. Yeah. Catch hold of this raft. Always keep this in mind, ‘Who am I? Who am I?’ Do it, and tell me what happens. Now try it, don’t postpone it. Continue it for few seconds, minute, two minutes, five minutes. Then it will become your habit. What I am seeing — this inquiry keeps you in present, doesn’t it? When you question, ‘Who am I,’ do you go to past or future? It’s right here now. Then, something, some miracle will happen and you will be happy. So, don’t be discouraged, you see. And decide that, ‘I HAVE to be happy!. I HAVE to be free!’ You must have taken this decision, and that’s why you are here today. So you do it, and tell me, just inquire within yourself. This inquiry is taking you to the depth of your own Self. If you need it. Otherwise it’s very clear that you can’t say, ‘I am not myself.’ You can’t say it because some people have imposed on you this idea, which is not good for you, you see, to live in past, always thinking of the past. It doesn’t pay you, you see. It gives you misery and tension. And when you are living here, in this present moment, this is called freedom. And then this freedom can be won in no time. Do it.
DEVOTEE: I‘ll do it.
PAPAJI: Yes, do it.
DEVOTEE: And before you said to me I can’t do anything.
PAPAJI: Yes, this is not doing I am teaching you. ‘Do it,’ means what is doing? I am, I am, I am. That’s what I’m speaking to you. This is not doing. It is dropping what you had been before. ‘I am the body, I am the mind, I am the ego, I am the senses.’ This is the trouble. So when you question this, this drops, you see. ‘I am body, I am senses, I am in trouble.’ When you question, ‘Who am I,’ this drops, doesn’t it? So, do it now, and tell me.
PAPAJI: No, no, do it.
DEVOTEE: There is nothing.
PAPAJI: OK, good. [Laughter] If there is nothing, then there’s no problem. Then now you say, ‘I am nothing.’
DEVOTEE: I am nothing.
PAPAJI: Yes, I am nothing.
DEVOTEE: I am nothing
PAPAJI: That’s all. Keep it in mind.