Desire is Your Teacher

So for the last two days, repeatedly, I have been asked to give you some practice. Never did I speak about any kind of practice in my life. For the last fifty years I didn’t speak about practice. People are here who have spent minutes, hours. And you also have seen a man from Washington DC stay for two hours — immediately he woke up while the Satsang was still going on. I thought, “Perhaps he has to catch his flight,” I said. I have never asked him his name, and his bag was also alongside him. And then he just prostrates and stands up. And someone asked him, “Why you are in a hurry to go? Since you have come, you can stay for at least one Satsang.” “It’s no use to stay here,” he says. “It’s no use. I’m coming from Thailand, and for twenty-six years I have spent going from center to center, and this couple of hours is quite enough. What more could any teaching be? It’s enough.”

Another man — he was Doctor James. In 1953 he went to attend international Buddhist conference in Bangkok. From there he came when I was working in Bangalore for a shipping corporation. This man straight away walks into my office and since he came by a taxi he was very dusty, you see. I said, “You go and have a hot shower, have a cup of coffee, and then we will speak.” “No, no, no, I have to ask,” he said, “and if your friends, who are seated here, will excuse me, I’ll ask you a question.” And then I said, “Carry on. Ask me.” He asked one question and I replied. All the while the taxi was waiting in front of the door. He said, “I am going now.” I thought, “He is not satisfied.” He said, “No, I don’t want to waste your time. It took just five minutes because I spent many years — I have seen many teachers in China, Japan, Thailand and the rest of the centers in India, Nepal, Bhutan, and other countries also. This is straight-away — no teaching — there’s no teacher at all. So I will write to you before I go, even in Delhi if I have time between my flights. I will go back to London and I will write.” And he did write to me about his experience.

So this depends upon how serious you are. The people who want to hang on, postpone their desire for freedom. There are thousands of ashrams here. People can go there if they don’t understand these things. They can go if they want to follow any practice. They can go there. There are many people there, you see.

Even Lord Buddha himself. He was a prince — married to the beauty of the land, blessed with a son. When this desire for freedom arose in the middle of the night, he woke up, and got on his horse. (Contic was its name.) Even that horse which took him out of the palace is now an immortal horse. He went from ashram to ashram, many different kind of tapas, sadhanas were being practiced and always he said, “Not it. It’s not it. It should not be like this thing.” People were hanging head down, feet tied to the branch of a tree and doing penance, tapas for freedom. What relationship has this kind of tapas with the freedom? Hanging like a monkey from a branch of a tree — and wanting to be free — has got no bearing. Yet this is being practiced even now. So he went round to different places. He rejected all ashrams and then finally, he went to Bodhgaya where he sat down by himself under the Bodhi tree and found it.

This is the desire that is your teacher itself — this desire is your teacher itself, your guide itself. And this will bring you to your own Self. And it will not fail you if you have decided and are determined, “I want to be free.” But if you are egoistic, arrogant, having desire for the things which are not eternal, happiness fades away every moment. Your relationship is with those whose legs are in the mouth of the crocodile of Lord Yama. If you want to love, if you want to be related, why not relate yourself with your own Self? And this relationship is the only relationship which is going to help you. It’s not going to deceive you at all, and you will not appear again into this land of suffering. It can be had instantly you see, the people have done it, and every day I tell you the stories of how people have won this freedom instantly.

Once there was king — a very noble king. Desire arose in his mind to be free. He needed a teacher now. So he sent word all over the country to hold a conference and he invited the enlightened people of this country to lead him to freedom. But with the condition that he wanted to be free in an instant. And that instant meant: as quick as to leap on a horse. So many people from the country — say about five thousand saints, sages, yogis — assembled in this camp, all belonging to different views, different shades, different sects. And the king stood there also, and there was a horse, and he said, “As a token of my dedication — guru dakshina — I will give eleven hundred cows, gold-plated horns, garlands of gold coins around their neck and a land at the bank of river Ganga. And I will build an ashram for whomever gives me gyanam as quick as leap on this horse,” which stood just next to him.”

And five thousand people assembled there. They looked to each other, speaking to each other, “This king is not reasonable. Look, I have been doing meditations in the Himalayas sixty years. I have grown gray beard and yet I do not know what is freedom.” So they are discussing, “This king is not reasonable,” speaking between themselves. Along comes one very dirty looking young boy. Nude he was, also deformed — physically deformed. He didn’t know what’s going on here in this congregation. He looked inside. Many people were there — and he also entered. And there the king stood on one foot, the left foot in his stirrup and he was ready to fling his right leg over the saddle. “How much time is needed to just get in the saddle?” That was the condition of the king.

This young man stood up, nude, deformed, dirty, and people were laughing at him: “He doesn’t know, he’s insane; he’s mad boy.” The young man addressed them, “Why do you laugh? Why do you laugh at me? Seeing my body, you laugh. Seeing my deformity — seeing this physical form which is skin or leather — you are leather merchants. You are leather merchants; you have no business to come here in Satsang.” he said. “You go and do your trade in the leather market.” That’s all he said. That is all he said to five thousand people. “You are looking at my physical form and you are laughing; you are joking. You look after your business. You know this is Satsang,” he said. “No other talk is allowed here — not looking at the form. In Satsang if you look at the form, you are in your usual profession.”

Now he addresses the king: “Yes sir, now you come along to me. Come, I will give you freedom. But now I am your teacher and you are my student. And according to Indian custom, you have to give me guru dakshina in advance, because after you are free — after you are enlightened — then you and I are equal. I can’t ask anything from you because you are equal to me and you will not give anything to me. We both are equal. Now you want something from me, therefore, I am your teacher and you are my student. Give me guru dakshina.” The king says: “Here are the cows. Here are the cows, here is the land I promised.” The man said, “But that land doesn’t belong to you. You want knowledge of your Self. This land, before it belonged to you, to whom did it belong? And these cows, too. This is public property. This land, this kingdom, was ruled by your father, right? And before your father, who was the king here?” The king said: “My grandfather.” “And after you?” the young man asked. “My sons,” the king said.

“So you are just a manager looking after a property. Give me something that belongs to you,” the man said. The king replied, “If you give me knowledge I will serve you all my life. All my life I will serve.” The man said, “How? How you are going to serve me? If you want to serve me physically, you are already pledged — your body you have already pledged to your wives, right? You took an oath in front of the fire at the time of marriage, right? And all your queens, they call you ‘my king, my husband,’ right? So your body belongs to your queens and also to the public when they say you are their king. Your body belongs to the public. It doesn’t belong to you. Give me something that belongs to you. Body belongs to public; body belongs to your queens; body belongs to your children. It’s not your own. How can you give me something which you have already sold to others? The king was a very wise, very noble king, very intelligent. He’s was thinking now that he had only one thing which nobody, nobody could claim. “It belongs to me,” the king answered. “I may be belonging physically but inside me there is something which I know is only me.” And then he said, “I have one thing, sir, that I have for you and that is my mind. I surrender my mind unto you.”

The king said, “Then let us have this ceremony. Let you bring Ganga water and repeat thrice so that this agreement of disciple and student is to be completed, so that you don’t withdraw from this, and make sankalpa. Here do I surrender to you, Master. I have given you this token of my present, my guru dakshina, and you impart knowledge to me.” And then after this ceremony was over the young man walked out of the tent and was gone. No one, in this congregation of five thousand people, understood. This boy was very funny. After this ceremony was over he disappeared.

The king was also thinking now. One foot, left foot in the stirrup — right foot is to embark on the saddle of the horse. Look at his longing and look at his dedication. Discipleship has been accepted, the ceremony is over, and the young man has disappeared. The king is astonished. He can’t help. And he’s looking through the hole of the tent. This king is thinking something. He goes outside and now he is thinking within himself, “I have surrendered the mind and I am feeling this agreement.” He was a very wise man. So he instantly thinks, “I have no business to mentate. I have no business to mentate, even to start a single thought about why this man has gone out of the tent.” There he stopped thinking. The king stopped thinking, you see. No thought was there in the mind of the king. Here is the point which we speak about every day.

When you start a thought it shows in your face. And what is this thought and where are you? This thought takes you straight away to the graveyard, mind you. This thought — any thought that rises in your mind – isn’t it the past? Mind itself is past. Thought itself is past. Whatever you think is past. And what is past is the graveyard. Therefore, you are in the graveyard. You are not a living being; you are speaking to the dead. What is dead? Memory. Memory is the graveyard. It’s not Satsang. Here, now, Satsang is going to take place — give me your attention. So that face is very different when you have no thought — that face you have seen. Yesterday people asked the same question about enlightenment.

And now this young man, he arrives in front of the king who had one foot in the stirrup, ready to jump into the saddle. That was the promise and this was the time. There was no thought in the mind of this king. There’s no thought — not even the previous thought, “I want freedom, first of all.” Everyone is bound because we separate ourselves from our own existence, consciousness and bliss. Somehow we think and we say “Now we are bound.” The wave rises from the ocean and separates and searches, “Where is the ocean?” Searching day and night — the wave is searching, “Where is the ocean?”

Like all of this manifestation, we are all searching, “Where is consciousness and where is existence and where is bliss?” This is what’s going on here; so when I am bound? Very few people have this concept, who have superimposed bondage on themselves — and then they will give rise to another superimposition of freedom. He who’s bound, very few will aspire for light, wisdom.

So when your thought stops, mind stopped, bondage vanished, also the freedom vanished, right? There is no mind. It was the mind that troubled you with “I am bound.” Can you sleep? Neither you are bound nor you are free because mind is not there. So when this king stood up thoughtless, his urge for freedom also disappeared, bondage disappeared, also the freedom disappeared. Now at that time, what else could be that is beyond description. He who has this experience will know how to describe it and this king has described very well, you see. He brought the other foot which was planted into this stirrup back on the deck itself, prostrated in front of him three times, went round three times, and he blessed him and he went away. He disappeared, you see. This is over.

So I started this, this morning Satsang, this practice, because many people want. I have to agree to them because they want some direct practice. So have I told them yesterday, day before yesterday, till you can’t walk on your own legs you can practice on existence — on Existence. “I am existence. I am consciousness. I am bliss.” To have a relationship with what really you are. This also is creating knower, knowing and known. So, finally, they have to merge into that where there is no duality at all. How long you can live in dualities — knower, knowing, known? If you want some support there’s no problem, you see. You can have it instead of doing any other exercise. This is acceptable in the shutees, and the sages allow it — therefore, I can agree. “I am existence.” Who can deny, “I don’t exist,” first of all? Do you ever go and ask someone, “Do I exist or not?” Do you ask, “Am I conscious or not?” You don’t ask this question. If you ask you’ll be sent to Nuermunser here. You do not know what’s Nuermunser. Someone here knows it.

First of all, those people who are there can’t deny, “I am that.” In the ancient times also, the student who has a burning longing for freedom goes to the teacher in the forest and just asks this question. “Ho ham?” He doesn’t know the answer, “Master, save me! I am afflicted with this serpent of samsara. Now I am fed up again, again, and again, appearing, disappearing. In society I have been troubled. Oh, masters, save me. Ho ham. Who am I?” The Master says, “My dear son, Thou art That, that’s all. Thou art That.” Instantly he says — instantly he finds it is That — the finger pointing to the moon. He will see the moon that takes you to your own Self, and he agrees. Then he says: “I am, I am, I am, I am.”

This moment will never come again, mind you. This moment which is passing in front of you is gone, as father who is dead will never come back again. It is possible in this moment that’s just in front of you — make the best of it. And best of it, best use of it is only — only to get into it. Get drowned into this moment. This Moment – not the previous, not the next.

This is what happened to the King of the Dehas. He didn’t sit for meditation. Neither has the teacher told him to meditate now. The real teacher has no teaching. There may be preachers who tell you do this and do that. Perhaps in my own words I call them murderers, butchers. They butcher you; they murder you, who tell you do this and do that, you see. The real teacher has no teaching. He doesn’t give you teaching because you are That already. What the teacher is going to tell you is, “You are already That.” What he can tell you distracts you and every exercise, every sadhana, every practice is distraction from your own Self, because you get otherwise engaged and you are already afflicted by thirty five million years.

Are you not afflicted if you add something more to it? Why not to throw away this burden once and for all. A very sharp one has to have this knowledge, itself, now — in this moment — and you have seen the result. The dull ones have no place in this Satsang. The sharp-witted person, intelligent person, is like Ashoka, Shankara, Vivekenanda recently, and Ram Tirtha recently, you see. So I don’t think this Satsang is for the dull people. I say it every day and so many people are here, there must be something wrong going on here under this roof. Never it has happened in the past that so many people are coming for Satsang. Only one teacher, one student. Even Shankara had only four students, you see. So, sometimes I think, “Why are these people here? Sometimes five hundred, four hundred people are here. Some falsehood is being practiced here. I should take care of it.” Wherever there is someone dancing, there will be a crowd. Where truth is being spoken who could be there? Now it’s some dance on the road, you can see everyone will disappear. Who will be with me? Some dancing you see on the road, you will just give it a test yourself. It’s not Satsang, you see.

So those few people, some get into trouble and need this because this is a fire. This is a fire which will burn everything. They can’t stay in Satsang, therefore, you see some people get up during the Satsang and disappear. The next day they don’t come. You see this every day. Some are here for a year, two years. Some read the papers, some read magazines, and come from far off countries. Some come here — you will see new people who are here for the first day and I guarantee you tomorrow they will not be here. Because this is a jump into their arrogance. Because their arrogance is struck at the root. Who wants to separate from his arrogance, “I am so and so. I am this much, I have that much in the bank. This my land, this is my apartment, this is my ninety-three model Benz.” That’s all that everybody wants.

I think one satsang is quite enough. If you decide on going to Satsang, don’t tie your rope to anything. Some have tied theirs even today. They have fixed up their appointment with their wives, with their offices, “I’ll be back at eleven-thirty,” right? Just as you slide a bucket into the water and the bucket is very happy in this shower-bath; the bucket is very happy dropped into the wells of the water. Outside is forty-four degrees (Celcius) and this bucket is very hot. And this kind man has put me down into the well. Now I am very happy but he doesn’t know he is tying me with the rope. He is just taken in. Like this, everybody is sitting with that bucket. They tie the rope around their waist with something or the other, perhaps, an appointment. “After this Satsang I will meet you,” right? If you cut your rope once only — once — that is quite enough.

You need not come again and again — only one time. Once, just for five minutes because your Atman is not distant from you, you are only driven by the rope. Everybody is thinking, “It’s getting late. Papaji is taking too much time, right? Tying a rope and coming to Satsang, many people say. One man who came here lives in Indira Nagar, in this ‘A’ Block itself. He just came and he requested that, “I want to see Papaji before Satsang.” I said, “He may have a question.” When he came in, I said, “Let him come before Satsang. I want to know if he wants special time. I will give it to him.” He told me that he will get summer vacation in October and asked if I will be here in October? “Where do you live?” I asked. He said, “I live here. I live here, I live here.” I said, “Attend this Satsang. You come here.” “No, no, no, no. I’ve not come for Satsang, I just came to make inquiry.” I said, “Have you a guarantee that you will live in October, or will I have a guarantee that I live in October?” You see, I cannot know what’s going to happen next moment, you see.

5 June, 1992