Reject the Rejector

Papaji: (Reading from letter) ‘I have studied man, myself through psychology and have practiced hundreds of teachings. I have been rich and poor. Free and, and a prisoner, yes, free and prisoner. Then I am sitting here in a soup of sensation. The body is too tired to hold on. Please help me home, signed Swami Anand Somwada.

Om. Very good, Swamiji. [Laughter] It’s very interesting to meet Swamiji because all these things I’ve now gone through. Swamiji, please come here. You have got experiences of all these you have done. It means you didn’t get light from all of these methods that shows so…

Swamiji: Correct. That’s right.

Papaji: Yes, that’s right because you have done — you must have been true, very faithful to yourself and honest what you have done; it shows. You are lucky that you have been rejecting everything. You are very lucky otherwise people get stuck, hold on. Even to garbage they get hold on. They will not find truth, you see. It’s better to see if you are not instantly free you had better reject anything and everything — even the kingdom you can reject just as the kings have rejected their kingdoms, their queens and their treasures in search of freedom. So these things you have done. I am very happy. Now then the concept of 35 million years also you have left. There’s no concept. So after rejecting everything — this is also a process, a very good practice that it’s not this and not that. So when you have rejected everything, rejected everything and still there is one thing you have not rejected. Still one thing — you have rejected everything — all the practices, all the religions or whatever you have gone through you have rejected. Well done. One thing worth rejecting you have not rejected. What’s that thing?

Swamiji:  Hope.

Papaji: No, hopes are also in this Buddhist. You see there’s no hope also. That’s all. You Buddhist, you have also left us, you see, everything. You have rejected everything. You have rejected 35 million years concept also. So you have rejected everything, you see. So what’s left to be rejected? Find out

Swamiji: The idea that something’s wrong? 

Papaji: Hmm?

Swamiji: The idea that something’s wrong.

Papaji: Which idea? No, no. These were all ideas, you see, you passed through and you rejected; everything is rejected. First, you have rejected the whole thing, that means, this covers the whole world. All these practices have covered the whole universe. You have rejected. Well done. And you have rejected the afterworld, the other world also is rejected because through these practices you rejected 35 million years. No mind. You have rejected 35 million years and you have rejected all these practices, Buddhist practices and everything is rejected and it will not pay. This rejection has not paid. What’s left to be reject now? What do you say. This is very interesting. [reading] ‘This life I have been Hindu sannyasin.’ You have rejected, OK? Then, a Buddhist bikhu – rejected. A Taoist adept – rejected. Then sadhu and king — rejected. All these gurus equal to toes and fingers – rejected. ‘So I have studied man, myself through psychology and have practiced hundreds of teachings. I have seen rich and poor.’ So all these hundreds of teachings you have rejected, haven’t you?

Swamiji: Yes.

Papaji: So well done. Everything is rejected. Well done. What’s there to be rejected now? That was most important. If you had rejected that in the beginning you would not have gone all through these difficult paths.

Swamiji: I guess I need your help on that one. [Laughter]

Papaji: Yes. So now you have to — you have not rejected one thing and that one thing is, that one thing is the rejector. [Laughter] Now here is the time. I am the last person left now. You have rejected everything and now you have to reject the one who has been rejecting all these things. Very good. And now you reject the rejector or reject all these rejections. Why you have brought all these things that were rejected. Why you have brought them, why you are carrying them still? Why you are carrying these rejections? That means the rejector is not yet rejected. Now forthwith you reject the rejector now. Something is going to happen now. Don’t look here and there. Look unto me and reject the one who has been rejecting everything. Reject it now. I’m not putting you to any long practice. I’m just want you to spit at it. That’s all. Vomit what you have done so far. Hmmm? You will be rewarded for everything if you do it now. Hmm? Do you follow first of all what I mean to say?

Swamiji: I feel a little unsure, but I can try to reject…

 Papaji: No, no there’s no trial in this. No trial, you have not to make trial. If you want to…

 Swamiji: Who’s the rejector?

Papaji: That’s what — you have not done it, no. This you took, you undertook some teaching, you entered into some teaching or you entered into river to swim and then you came out as you entered. OK? This one thing. This is the  problem. Nothing will happen. As you went so you came out. Again you will enter. I want you to stop this process. I want you to behave. Have a piece of salt in hand and throw it into the river. Will it come back? So like this is the rejector, the river is discharged into the ocean. Does it come back as a river? No. Like this you reject and discharge into the self itself. That is the rejector through which you have been rejecting. What was it that had entered into one teaching and then rejected it? What was it? You underwent a teaching as a sannyasin, as a bikshu, as a Taoist you entered into teaching and then you rejected. You came out the same as you entered. Didn’t you?

Swamiji: Yes.

Papaji: What is it that went in and came out? Now that one thing I want you to just renounce it, reject that. What’s that? Ego, you know. Ego. I undergo this teaching, I will get this thing. This was ego. Ego has not been rejected. Ego has not been rejected so far. Without this nothing is going to happen. No, ask this question to this ego — what is ego first of all? Who was going under, undergoing these teachings? Who underwent these teachings? Say ‘I’, isn’t it? I rejected. I have done this thing as a sadhu, as a sannyasin, as a king, as a beggar or whatsoever it is. I became the king, beggar, sannyasin, bhikshu and everything — ‘I’.

Swamiji: Yes.

Papaji: Now you stay as ‘I’. Everything is rejected. Now you return to ‘I’. Now ‘I’ is rising. You say the word ‘I’.

Swamiji: I.

Papaji: Where does it rise from? This you enter. I want you to enter this latest sadhana, you see. This you have not done before. I am very sure about it. You didn’t mention it, no? Because the names do not include this process which I am telling you here and now. And you have to do it now itself. Tell me the source from where you utter the word ‘I’ and I came out from where? Hmm?

Swamiji: Somewhere from inside.

Papaji: Yeah, OK. Somewhere from inside. Very good. I believe all these things which you have mentioned. You are the most experienced person in this gathering as I know. Therefore, it will be help if you do it yourself and say where you arrive at. So I do not know where from it is coming from. So you went to trace the source of ‘I’. So you entered somewhere which you do not know, OK? Am I correct now?

Swamiji: Yes.

Papaji: Or make a figure on this to understand clearly. You are getting it very well I’m sure because now when this ‘I’ went to trace the river it went into the ocean. No more river, isn’t it? Now ‘I’ has gone somewhere. Now there’s no more ‘I’. Now you stay there. For some time you stay there. There’s no ‘I’ now which has rejected all these things. This itself now is rejected, ‘I’ is rejected. Now you stay there and tell me if you can reject this also. 

Swamiji: There, there’s nothing I can do.

Papaji: Nothing I can do. OK, very well. So from there, ‘nothing I can do’ and nothing has been done before also. Nothing that you can do. So if there is nothing you can do you can’t give it a name — it’s not a form. ‘I’ also has left you now and you have this experience there’s nothing that you could do. So what is this? What is this now state? What is this? There nothing can be done. There’s no name and no form. No me, no you nor he or she. Fathomlessness. Silence. Peace. Happiness, you see. Stay as such. Now you have rejected 35 million years and all this is rejected. Now you reject this and say, include this also in the list, this, what is this also is, is rejected. This is telling you this thing. Now you reject this. Neither you can reject nor you can accept and this is called freedom which cannot be rejected, which cannot be accepted. There’s nobody to accept and nobody to reject it, you see. This is called freedom and that’s not mentioned in your list of fingers and toes. [Laughter] So you have finally come here and I’m not going to leave you now anywhere. You have to tell me. You include me in this rejection. You include me in this rejection, in this list.

Swamiji: Kind of you.

Papaji: Hmm? What do you say? You have to celebrate it now. Yes. You have to celebrate. Now is the time. Now is the time, you see. And tell me where is the mind now? Tell me where is your mind and what is your thought now in this nowhere what you call it. Do you see any mind around? Any thought around?

Swamiji: Insecure.

Papaji: Heh?

Swamiji: I feel like, I feel an insecurity. [Laughter] For you it’s funny. For me it’s not yet funny.

Papaji: What? What did you say?

Swamiji: For you it’s funny. For me, I cannot laugh yet.

Papaji: That’s what I’m waiting for. [Much laughter] Due to these practices you have lost your laughing muscles also, but I will replace them now. You have lost these muscles, those muscles are not there. Everybody has stolen your muscles of laugh and peace and love also. So I have to replace those muscles, then only you will laugh, you see. Only the jaws — one Zen Master, Oshida Maru, came many years ago. He said he was staying in upstairs room. He didn’t tell me. He’s telling to others. ‘I have only one lung. My one lung is taken out. I am on one lung only and the doctor has told me neither to laugh nor to go up on the stairs, but then Poonjaji’s always laughing and I felt I have replaced the other lung also’. So you will have to replace these laughing muscles, you see. All this exercises take away your laugh. Take away your peace, you see. All, anything that you enter doesn’t give you laugh. Laugh comes after this attainment, achievement and knowledge of your being, then only you can laugh. Nobody laughs during any practice, you see. He’s so serious, you see. So I want to replace your jaws to laugh here, you see. You have not come in mourning. [Papaji cracks up here] Excellent. Very good. I’m very happy. This enough. It’s not for me. I want to laugh better than satsang. I can afford to sit here and wait for your laugh then, speak of satsang. Your laugh is satsang, isn’t it? And this you have not mentioned now. If you laugh, this is called satsang. 

Devotee: He has started laughing.

Papaji: Huh?

 Questioner: He has started laughing now. [Everyone is laughing now]

Papaji: [Throughout the next few minutes Swamiji is apparently having some kind of experience which is expressing itself in such a way as to crack everyone up for some time]. Ah, this is good. This time, these are good symptoms. [More laughter] And this is better than laughing.